Parents make the best leadership coaches for their children, yet many of us leave a significant part of our children’s training to the school.
Ancient wisdom tells us to prove all things and keep what is good. Those of us who are willing to investigate the situations and circumstances of their lives are usually rewarded with truth. But we find that many times the truth is strange and out of harmony with the “normal” way of thinking.
During our investigation, discovery is the easy part. The difficulty comes in deciding what to do with the revealed truth. Should we accept the new and different? Or stick with the status quo? The first choice takes us out of our comfort zone, stretching us into numerous possibilities, while the second option allows us to remain with the snug and cozy familiar.
You may be wondering what I am talking about and where this is leading. Well, the educational system followed in most schools today, which by the way, orchestrates the majority of our children’s future lives, seems to be contributing to their failure rather than success – with a few exceptions, of course.
We know that our children are intelligent. The evidences of that abound. They frequently demonstrate their brilliance every day at home, at church, and in our communities. They are curious, adventurous, and innovative. Is school the exception? Or is that kind of behavior unacceptable there?
Even those teachers, who perceive the occasional flash of brilliance in our children, send home reports that indicate poor performance academically, and many times, the inability to focus. Sometimes, they even portray our children as being highly distractible.
Any honest parent who takes the time to assess the success of our school systems in educating our children for life and leadership must admit that they fall far short of the target. The general focus seems to be on producing cookie-cutter “regurgitators” of facts and figures in an effort to yield high test scores, rather than fully equipped, balanced individuals ready and able to meet the challenges of the world in which they live.
Today’s visionaries tell us that now and in the future, innovation and creation of untapped new markets are the keys to business success and sustained growth in our global society. Who’s coaching our children to be innovative and creative? Not the schools.
True education produces learning. Learning, in turn, generates changes in behavior. When children are taught to memorize information then recall it to pass a test, very little real learning takes place. But can we blame the teachers? Not really. They are using the tools they were given in graduate school and most professional training and development programs.
As a matter of fact, the solution to this problem lies in the adoption of a whole new mindset – one that is based on teaching children from the platform of their strengths rather than grades. Do you remember when you told your friend that Johnny is always dissecting his toys, or Suzie must always be the leader among her little friends?
Parents, we’ve always observed our children’s strengths and aptitudes as they emerge. They fill our conversations. Many times the anecdotes provide humor in our discussions. But how many of us thought about coaching our children in developing those traits to leadership quality?
It’s time to wake up, be conscious of the little people placed in our charge, and take up the challenge of facilitating their journey to leadership excellence. Let’s begin coaching our children intentionally and with diligence.
Tell me what you think and how you feel. Leave me a comment below.
Tags: children, coaching, education, leadership, parenting, parents, school, teaching, training
As an educator I often find it baffling as to how I can have 20 brilliant children sitting in front of me having discussions, doing experiments, or reading wonderful literature, but as soon as I turn them loose to work on their own —their inadequacies show up. This blog has made me question is it their inadequacies or mine. Now as a parent and teacher I must move beyond the surface in order to truly prepare children for success.
This is a problem that I recognized from day one, and I always wondered why are they teaching our children for just the moment, that is for a specific exam. If they fail that exam then they are considered failures. As a teacher from the Caribbean, I know what effectiive teaching is. My daughter who went thru this countries educational system became a teacher and taught for a few months. She left for the very reasons that you have stated. Many of our children are failing because teachers are not allowed to teach with techniques that will allow them to reach each child who they know very well. I have just signed up for the Teaching Fellows and I’m wondering if I can ever make a difference.
The issue raised in this blog is a legitimate one. However I do disagree with the notion that, generally, teachers are solely to be blamed for this situation. Are we forgetting that they themselves are products of the system of which are now a part?
I posit that how we teach is influenced by our philosophy of education and our understanding of how we can improve student learning. Let me hurry to state that improving student learning is completely different from assigning a grade at the end of the semester. If teacher education programs are not focussed on addressing these issues then we will continue to have teachers who are unprepared to move from teaching to the test to structuring instructional experiences designed for the development of students’ areas of strengths: for some students this strength maybe in the area of leadership but not always.
As an educator I am aware that within the worst of our school system there are teachers who work against the status quo to help foster positive growth and development in their students. They are making a difference. Those of us who teach must teach from the conviction that we can make a difference – this conviction places us in a position to seek solutions rather than magnify challenges.
The idea of parents taking responsibility for the leadership coaching of their children is something that should exist exclusive of the school system. I see this blog as a source of information for parents who are willing to take that challenge regardless of the quality of teacher or scool their children are exposed to. Think about it!
Flo, thanks for the post. Your observations highlight a systemic problem in the American education system. While there are exceptional school districts that do emphasize real learning, most of our schools are churning out kids who are ill-equipped to face the challenges of global competition in the Information Age.
The problem doesn’t rest with schools alone. Television, video games, and other forms of mind-numbing entertainment rob our children of curiosity, ingenuity, and exploration and replace it with passive resignation or even worse addictive compulsion. Either way, their energies get channeled into unproductive pursuits and we all lose out as a result.
The changes we need will not come about easily because the problems are firmly rooted in our culture. Parents are the focal point. Change in our children starts with the parents, and we must hold our schools and administrators accountable for what and how are children are being taught.
Personally, I would love to see greater competition in the education arena. I think it would challenge much of the status quo.
Again, thanks for the post, and congratulations on getting started.
Best to you,
Wendell
The fact is that the education system in general is inefficient in terms of successfully meeting each students needs. A share of the blame lies with teachers who accept the current norms as the best and only methods that should be used as well as with students and PARENTS who feel that their child’s teacher should be the one to parent them during the school year and thus absolve themselves of any wrongdoing from September to June. We tell each child how special and unique they are yet require them all to learn at the exact same pace, and by using the exact same teaching methods. We have standards for learning set up that are adequate for a certain part of the student populous but expect ALL students to adhere to the same standards. Because I can take a test on November 2nd at 11:00am and pass with an A, doesnt mean that I am more deserving of that A than someone who may not be able to grasp all of the subject matter until November 11th at 3:00pm. The education system needs to stop placing complete responsibility on the child for them to learn. How can we expect all 4th and 5th graders to understand the importance of an education? It’s time the education system ADAPT (like businesses have to in order to maintain loyal employees, like churches have to in order to reach generation y, z, and xyz) to the needs of the child who doesnt have a parent at home stressing the importance of schooling (as we see all over large, urban environments in the USA) and may not work as hard initially. Anyhow, before I get off subject I will close. Very nice post. I enjoyed reading it as well as the comments that were left.
I enjoy communicating issues dealing with parenting and educating this generation’s children. Children being raised in homes where parents are stressed out with responsibilities at home, work and church are not being nutured to adapt to their learning environment.
Today’s children want to obtain everything very quickly and some of them want to be “spoon-fed”. They do not want to think and work diligently for success. These same students are technologically very bright and are accustomed to instant and rapid gratification. Some classrooms are stuck in the dark ages and students tune out their teachers by socializing with each other. Parents must prioritize their time to teach their children and that should include worship time. Furthermore, affirming our children, talking with and playing with them will produce intelligent students who will successfully adapt to any teaching methods.
You have expressed very interesting views, but I am deeply impressed by the role of parents in the well-being of their children. Parenting is treated too lightly a matter and, most people who become parents, have no idea of what is truly required of them. Any fixing of schools, communities, societies, and the world must start with first fixing the home. We must resist any and everything that seeks to undermine and devalue the home. There is a reason why children have parents; God designed it that way because only He knows what is best for us. Parenting is the single most important calling of any human being. It is a sacred calling, never to be rushed into unthoughtfully or unmindfully. Society is as good as its families. It is God who instituted the family over six thousand years ago.
Nice brief and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you for your information.
Florence:
How do we then address this issue best. Do we pursue placment in Montessori programs?