When you look back at 2009, are you satisfied with your accomplishments? Or are you filled with regret because of missed opportunities?
We’ve just entered a new year–another chance to chart your course to success.
Listen in as BlogTalkRadio Host, Norka Blackman-Richards, talks with me, (“celebrated” not “self-proclaimed”), and two other “Real Women,” Winnie Benjamin and Jilma Jimenez, about the preparation necessary to ensure success in 2010.
As their children’s leadership coaches, parents must model the character traits and values they wish to develop in their children. This is crucial since parenting experts tell us that children learn through imitation and repetition. The poet, Dorothy Law Nolte, says it simply yet forcibly in her poem “Children Learn What They Live.”
Everyone speaks about each individual being unique. But I often wonder how many of us, parents, live that way. When we go along with our friends to the function in which we see no educational, re-creational, or redemptive value, instead of voicing our position and opting out; Or when we conform to performing a task that we know may belittle another human being, just because someone in authority asked us to do it; what message are we sending to our children?
We may think that our children are not being influenced because they are absent at the times of our decisions, but a troubled spirit, or disturbing thoughts release negative energy into the air around us. And children are very intuitive beings. They may not have the details, but they know when something is wrong.
Being authentic is being uniquely you. Just like your children, even though your talents and abilities appear similar to others, your experience and perspective make them unique. Your vision of the world is also specific to you. Understanding your strengths, the things that energize you, the reasons why you have and work toward your major goals, and the vision you have of yourself and the world are the things that contribute to birthing your authenticity.
I learned a long time ago that we can only teach what we have learned ourselves. So I ask you, do you know who you are? Have you discovered your uniqueness? Do you know why you are here, and where you are going? Are there significant goals toward which you are working, every day? The answers to these questions will shed light on the authentic you.
Only as parents become leaders in living with authenticity by living with a deep understanding of who they are, can they help their children to live authentic lives. Living with authenticity is the beginning of leadership training.
Parents make the best leadership coaches for their children, yet many of us leave a significant part of our children’s training to the school.
Ancient wisdom tells us to prove all things and keep what is good. Those of us who are willing to investigate the situations and circumstances of their lives are usually rewarded with truth. But we find that many times the truth is strange and out of harmony with the “normal” way of thinking.
During our investigation, discovery is the easy part. The difficulty comes in deciding what to do with the revealed truth. Should we accept the new and different? Or stick with the status quo? The first choice takes us out of our comfort zone, stretching us into numerous possibilities, while the second option allows us to remain with the snug and cozy familiar.
You may be wondering what I am talking about and where this is leading. Well, the educational system followed in most schools today, which by the way, orchestrates the majority of our children’s future lives, seems to be contributing to their failure rather than success – with a few exceptions, of course.
We know that our children are intelligent. The evidences of that abound. They frequently demonstrate their brilliance every day at home, at church, and in our communities. They are curious, adventurous, and innovative. Is school the exception? Or is that kind of behavior unacceptable there?
Even those teachers, who perceive the occasional flash of brilliance in our children, send home reports that indicate poor performance academically, and many times, the inability to focus. Sometimes, they even portray our children as being highly distractible.
Any honest parent who takes the time to assess the success of our school systems in educating our children for life and leadership must admit that they fall far short of the target. The general focus seems to be on producing cookie-cutter “regurgitators” of facts and figures in an effort to yield high test scores, rather than fully equipped, balanced individuals ready and able to meet the challenges of the world in which they live.
Today’s visionaries tell us that now and in the future, innovation and creation of untapped new markets are the keys to business success and sustained growth in our global society. Who’s coaching our children to be innovative and creative? Not the schools.
True education produces learning. Learning, in turn, generates changes in behavior. When children are taught to memorize information then recall it to pass a test, very little real learning takes place. But can we blame the teachers? Not really. They are using the tools they were given in graduate school and most professional training and development programs.
As a matter of fact, the solution to this problem lies in the adoption of a whole new mindset – one that is based on teaching children from the platform of their strengths rather than grades. Do you remember when you told your friend that Johnny is always dissecting his toys, or Suzie must always be the leader among her little friends?
Parents, we’ve always observed our children’s strengths and aptitudes as they emerge. They fill our conversations. Many times the anecdotes provide humor in our discussions. But how many of us thought about coaching our children in developing those traits to leadership quality?
It’s time to wake up, be conscious of the little people placed in our charge, and take up the challenge of facilitating their journey to leadership excellence. Let’s begin coaching our children intentionally and with diligence.
Tell me what you think and how you feel. Leave me a comment below.